God’s Plan

I can honestly say that this life has NEVER been easy for me. I have definitely had more than my slice of the pie in tragedy, struggles, and obstacles. One thing is for sure though, I will never let that define who I am. All of those things made me who I am today, but I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to be. This past week has been extra heavy. My internship is at a child placing agency and it has been rough, being a social worker is never easy, but I didn’t choose it because it was. I chose it because I want to make a difference, I like a challenge and for Matt. I chose it because not all of us are bad, and some of us have so much love to give. I would be lying if I said that this week I didn’t cry, go to target and buy things I didn’t need, and talk to my mom for hours about how I don’t know if I can do this. I did all of that. Then I came home and was on the computer and saw where Drake released a new music video for his song “God’s Plan”. I have been bumping this song since it dropped; you can catch me dancing to it in my car on the way to work, school, internship or on the way home, I get down. Drake has always been my favorite. Then I saw the music video for it, and y’all already know I was crying. Then I had a realization. He is doing what he loves all while giving back. I am doing what I love while giving back, (obviously on a much smaller scale), but I was definitely in awe. Watching that video and seeing so many types of people, the same populations social workers work with everyday and it got me so hype!!! Thinking about how he is making a difference and how I can do that too. The days aren’t long enough and the weeks go slow, but this life is what you make it. We choose what we want to get out of it. I could complain about it, or I can be about it. Even the smallest difference can make the biggest change in someone’s life. We don’t always have to share it with the world either. Do all things with love! Be humble. Stay kind! This life is so damn short we never know when our last day is, so be who you want to be and do what you love and spread love while you do it!

God’s Plan.

-This is the life of Jordan

 

P.S. for those of you who haven’t seen the amazing video I dropped the link below. Check it out.

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Here lies 2017

2017 was an amazing, crazy, happy, overwhelming year.

Oscar and I bought a house and I can honestly say it has been the most fun, challenging, sometimes overwhelming leap we have taken thus far. We wouldn’t change anything though!

Each year passes and I reflect on what I want for the next year, what goals do I want to accomplish?

I think my biggest goal is to be at peace. I struggle with holding grudges over people and things from the past, I have started to slowly mend relationships that I know I don’t have to, but living with hate is not something I want to do anymore.

My second goal is to be in control of my health, I know, I know so cliche. Migraines were a huge problem for me in 2017 and I have vowed to make big changes in order to pinpoint the causes of them this year.

My third goal is to just be myself, be happy, not sweat the small stuff, life is so short and we never know what could happen.

2018 is going to be filled with awesome times, I will graduate college, be in one of my best friend’s wedding, live it up in miami with some of my BEST friends, attend more weddings, figure out what I’m doing after graduation, LIVING LIFE. I don’t have it all planned out which is super hard for me, but a little spontaneity never hurt nobody. đŸ˜‰

I promise to blog more, school, work and an internship can be ROUGH.

I gotta cut this one short, started a pre-session course for college and ya girl is not liking earth science. SEND PRAYERS Y’ALL.

 

ONE MORE SEMESTER.

 

-This is the Life of Jordan

Chi-town

Over fall break I flew on an airplane for the first time and went to Chicago.

I can’t begin to explain my wanderlust after seeing the city and exploring Chicago.

The magnificent mile, bean, and navy pier made for the best experience.

I’ve always loved traveling and finally getting over my fear of flying and going on a plane may have been bad for me. I’m impulsive and love to say “screw it” and just live life. I have a straight YOLO attitude. You do only live once, and let me tell ya, life is too damn short to miss out on a weekend trip to chi-town with your Mama, cousin and family friend. From getting lost in the city, freezing on the navy pier, and walking in the pouring rain I had such a great and memorable time. If you are looking for cheap, yet memorable getaway Chicago is the best. Here are some cool pics

-this is the life of Jordan

Who do you admire?

This week’s post is super late, sorry all!

For this week I want you to think deeply about someone you admire. I want you to tell that person 3 things you admire about them.

I think too often we get caught up in our daily lives we forget about the people who help us get through the day and through life itself!

The person I admire is my mama. Here are the 3 things I admire about her:

  1. Her strength, she is honestly the strongest person I know, I’m not saying that because she’s my mom, I am saying that because it’s true and she is a total badass.
  2. Her compassion for others, easy to say that’s who I get it from, she wants to help everyone and truly feels what they feel, honestly sometimes too much (like her daughter).
  3. Her kindness, I have seen this woman carry a conversation with complete strangers and by the end she has them laughing. She is truly a gift from God above!

Okay so there is your mission. I want you to write in the comments on here, or on my Facebook post who you admire! I wanna know who you admire! Let’s spread happiness and love this week!

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– This is the life of Jordan

Dear Matt

Many of you know, and maybe some of you don’t. On August 6th, 2013 my step-dad took his life.

I understand for some of you this may be hard to read. I understand that some of you won’t realize why I am writing about this on such a public forum, but suicide and mental illness need to be spoken about. So here is my “story”.

That day in August my life completely changed. I can remember the day crystal clear, how could I forget as it replays in my mind over and over. We were left with so many questions and left with so much hurt. My mother’s heart truly broke that day, and I watched it happen right in front of me. The hardest part was that the night before, I finally told Matt that I loved him. He was always the last to go to bed, and I remember walking up the stairs and looking down on him watching a show on the couch and saying good night and he said good night jo, I love you. And I replied with good night, I love you too. Little did I know that would be the last time I got to speak to him.

I think I take it so hard because I waited so long to tell him I loved him when I knew it for so long, he treated my mama and I like royalty, she was the queen and I was the princess. He was always taking care of us and making us laugh. He treated Oscar so well, and loved him just as he loved me. He waited for me with my mama at the end of the bridge at prom my junior year and I had never seen him so nervous to take a picture with me and so happy at the same time. He was a proud “dad”. He was seriously one of the funniest people I had ever met, a TOTAL goofball. There was never a dull moment when he was around and the happiness he provided my mom with was out of this world.

When he left, so did a piece of our hearts. I know that sounds cheesy but it is so true. I honestly never thought it was going to get better. I can remember on the first day of my senior year sobbing with mama at a breakfast one of my classmates had because Matt wasn’t around to send me off to school. There are so many things I wish he was physically here for. He showed me the love a person could have for a child that wasn’t even his. For that I am forever thankful. I wish I would have gotten more time with him, and wish he was still around to keep my mom company. I wish for so much.

Losing Matt showed me how strong I am. In a horrible way it did. It showed me how strong my mother is, the strongest person I know. It showed me not to ever take ANYTHING for granted, because tomorrow is never promised. It showed me that someone doesn’t have to be blood to show you fatherly love.

If Matt was here today I would tell him that I love him. That his time on this earth, although too short, made my time on this earth meaningful. That because of him I am following my dreams. That because of him my mama and I are strong. That because of him I will always try my hardest.

I hope you look down on us everyday. Mama and I know when you do because you still make the lights flicker, you squirt. I hope we are making you proud. I hope you are at peace. Just know we miss you, love you, and think about you every single day.

 

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This is the life of Jordan

Why do we wait until it’s too late?

Death is something that has always made me uneasy. I can remember going to my first funeral and wondering what the casket was and what everyone was looking at. As I grew older I went to more and more. There are 2 funerals in my life that I took very hard. The death of my great grandma faye, and the death of a man who I love to call my step-dad, Matt. My great grandma was one of my favorite people of all time. Her and my grandpa Felix watched me in the summer, took me to school, and I went over every sunday for breakfast with my grandpa and grandma (their son and daughter-in-law). I remember my grandma faye was always cooking something, and before we ever left the house she “had to put her face on” (put on makeup). Her and my grandpa had a love I admired so much. When my grandma began to get sick I can remember an exact time when I realized how strong their love was. We were all in the hospital at my grandma’s bedside and she was about to be airlifted to another hospital. We let my grandpa in the room by himself to talk to her before she left. I remember him holding her hand so tight, with tears streaming down his face (the first time I ever saw him cry). He kept telling her he loved her so much, and holding her so tight. When we finally got him to come with us it was as if we had separated two souls. We had, they were soul mates. When my grandma eventually passed my whole family took it pretty hard. She was the glue, and without her we were all pretty lost. One thing death does though, is make you feel regret. You question everything. When was the last time I told them I loved them? Did I leave angry? Did they really know how much they meant to me? I should have went to see them… We are left with so many questions and regrets, why? Why do we live this way? Why do we wait to announce our love for people? Why do we wait until it’s too late? Many of us have seen the recent news of the Las Vegas shooting. I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought about it much. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I lie awake at night wondering about all of those people, their families, the life they still had left to live. I think about the regret people they knew must feel. Why do we wait? Our last day could be anytime. For the week I leave you with 3 things to think about.

  1. Have you told your loved ones lately what they mean to you?
  2. Do you have grudges with anyone you could resolve?
  3. Would you be satisfied with how you left off with the people in your life, if today was your last day? Screen Shot 2017-10-06 at 9.06.20 PM

Regret is too big of a burden to harbor.

 

 

-This is the life of Jordan

This is me

My name is Jordan Mae Cisneros, I am 21 year old college student studying Social Work at Wichita State University. I am the daughter to an incredible woman who is also my best friend. I am the girlfriend to an amazing man who I also call my best friend. I am the mom to the best pup around, my Simba. I have many roles in my life, and I hope to add “avid blogger” to the list. When I’m not studying, at school, at work, or at my internship, you will find me spending time with my loved ones watching netflix, or just enjoying time together. I often post memes, political views, and heartfelt displays of affection for my loved ones on my Facebook page, but this is something I wanted to take to another level. I want this a place to be where I share my experiences, thoughts, and am completely vulnerable to my audience and let them in on my life. I look forward to your comments, well wishes, and insights.

 

This is me,

This is the life of Jordan